


Longing

by Hushabye_my_darling



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Bittersweet, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Oral Sex, lots of feels, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:06:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9218219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hushabye_my_darling/pseuds/Hushabye_my_darling
Summary: "The blare of trumpets sounded, disturbing his thoughts. The festivities were in full swing. Inebriated voices raised in song filtered through the window. Loki sank below the surface of the water, dulling the sound. An overwhelming desire to escape the celebration of death filled him and he yelled his frustration into the murky pink liquid. Sitting up quickly, he roughly washed the last traces of blood from his body and stepped out of the bath. Reaching for a towel, he rubbed it savagely over his body then walked naked to the window. Fireworks filled the sky, blocking the stars. Loki turned his back on the spectacle, allowing his thoughts to drift once again to a distant world."





	

 

The sounds of merriment and goblets clashing with each victory toast spilled from the banquet hall and echoed through the empty corridors leading to Loki’s chamber. His body still bearing the blood of the fallen, Loki shut his door against the barrage and rested his head against the cold stone. He should be feeling exhilarated by the defeat of the enemy but instead felt only an emptiness that gnawed at him leaving him weary and on edge. The thought of the feast and the open doors of the whorehouses afforded him no pleasure. Wandering on to the balcony he looked across the golden city to the stars that filled the night sky. Worlds beyond worlds turned around distant suns. Some he knew well, while others were only fragments of memory, half-forgotten tales from his childhood. Loki’s thoughts turned to one world in particular. A world of contradiction, where the desire for peace balanced precariously with a seemingly innate desire for war. A world to which he was now eternally bound.

Turning his back on the beckoning heavens, Loki made his way to a small room leading off his chamber. There a bath had been drawn for him shortly after his return. It was his usual practice to wash and be amongst the first to the festivities. This time he had held back, waiting for the other warriors to disperse before taking a longer, quieter path through the gardens. No doubt the water would be cold by now, but that suited him. Pulling the blood-soaked tunic and undershirt over his head, he flexed his arm against the ache in his shoulder. He had been distracted by a memory and had almost paid for it with his life. Only the intervention of Fandral had turned a fatal blow to a glancing but painful hit to his left side. Sighing, Loki added his breeches to the bloody pile and slid into the tub. The image of a narrow face with blue eyes and dark, curly hair had been surfacing at inopportune moments and with greater frequency of late. Loki settled back against the cool metal, closing his eyes and letting the herbal infusion in the water heal his battered body. His thoughts drifted, as they so often did these days, to the source of the distracting visions.

 

 

His curiosity had been piqued by his brother’s interest in the mortal inhabitants of Earth. In secret he made his way there to observe them, reluctant to include his boorish brother in his plans. Disguising himself, he walked amongst them, watching them rush like ants from one part of the city to another. Thor’s fascination seemed grossly misplaced. Loki rolled his eyes at their naivety, their insipid conversation and the monotony of their daily existence.

Sitting outside one of the many sidewalk cafes in Soho, he took a sip of his last Espresso, ignoring the scurrying bodies around him. He smiled slightly as he inhaled the delicious aroma. The one source of pleasure in his brief survey had been the discovery of this pleasant brew.

The sudden sound of metal hitting the pavement behind him was followed by the sensation of hot liquid hitting his shoulder and flowing down the front of his shirt, soaking into the fabric at his groin. He stared bemusedly at his ruined clothes, the heat only causing him mild discomfort.

“Oh shit. Are you OK? Here, I’ll grab something . . . “

The owner of the concerned voice disappeared into the café, reappearing shortly afterwards with a handful of paper napkins. Long, slender fingers dabbed at the spreading stain on his shirt. As the hand moved lower, Loki grabbed it and pushed it away. “I can take care of that, thank you.”

“Of course. Sorry. Look, this is my fault. Let me help somehow. Are you sure you aren’t burned?”

Loki looked up into a lightly freckled face. Concern had created two furrows between brilliant blue eyes. “I assure you I am quite unhurt, though I cannot say the same for my outfit,” he said, unable to contain a smile.

His reassurance failed to erase the expression of concern from the handsome features of his accidental assailant.

“There must be something I can do. At least let me buy you a coffee.”

Loki hesitated before answering. There was something compelling about the young man hovering beside him. Another day on this pathetic little planet would do no harm, surely.

“Very well,” he replied, “but only if you will join me.”

The man smiled, two dimples forming in his cheeks.

 

 

Loki picked up a cloth to scrub at the more stubborn blood and mud that clung to his skin. How much there must have been to penetrate through the layers of armour and fabric. One battle melded into another in his mind and he was unable to recall the detail or duration of this last conflict. He lifted his head, catching his reflection in the surface of the tempered metal of the tub. His hair lay flat against his crown, stiffened with dried sweat and blood. Green eyes stared blankly out of a face made unrecognisable by the streaks of red and black.

Here we sit in our golden halls. Gods among men. Thinking ourselves so much above the creatures that eke out a meagre existence on their worlds of fire and ice. Look at us. How we delude ourselves to justify our place in this universe. How vain we are. How petty. Striding through worlds, trampling all beneath our feet.

He shut his eyes against his reflection searching for that one glimmer of light in a universe that grew ever darker. Something to validate his existence. Something pure.

 

 

“Your parents were interested in Norse mythology?”

“Why do you say that?” Loki asked cautiously.

“Your name. Loki was the son of Odin, the Norse god.”

Loki gave a humourless laugh. “Oh yes. You could say it is a world in which they are immersed.”

Pink lips curved into a smile. “You don’t share their interest?”

“I know all the stories.” Loki sighed. “There are other more inspiring tales, are there not?”

“Maybe there are. Yet . . . it’s an interesting choice, don’t you think? ‘Loki’. God of Mischief. Trickster.”

“You think another name would be more suitable? Thor perhaps?” Loki suppressed a smile at the thought.

“No. There are others. Baldr or Tyr, for example.”

Loki grimaced at unpleasant memories.

Misinterpreting the reaction, the young man rushed to say “I am not being critical. My parents had no greater or lesser ambitions for me than any other parent by naming me after Alexander the Great. I hardly fit the image of a great strategist or ruler of empires.”

Loki looked at him thoughtfully. The beautiful features did not disguise the strength of the character behind them. “We do not always see ourselves as others see us.”

Intelligent eyes studied him in return. Loki felt as though his every thought and deed were being laid bare. He dropped his eyes and gave a bitter laugh. “Well, what is a name, anyway. ‘Tis simply the means by which a father may gain your attention and draw the notice of everyone else when he bellows it loudly in anger.”

“I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

The furrows were back.

Loki smiled. “Do not trouble yourself. It is another world and far away. Today the God of Mischief is enjoying a coffee in very pleasant company . . . with slightly damp trousers.”

That brought a chuckle and a speculative look.

“I have dry clothes at my flat.” A pink flush crept up a long neck and over chiseled cheeks. “It’s not far from here. I . . . I think we are about the same size. I could wash your shirt and trousers for you.”

Loki noted the blush with interest.

 

 

The blare of trumpets sounded, disturbing his thoughts. The festivities were in full swing. Inebriated voices raised in song filtered through the window. Loki sank below the surface of the water, dulling the sound. An overwhelming desire to escape the celebration of death filled him and he yelled his frustration into the murky pink liquid. Sitting up quickly, he roughly washed the last traces of blood from his body and stepped out of the bath. Reaching for a towel, he rubbed it savagely over his body then walked naked to the window. Fireworks filled the sky, blocking the stars. Loki turned his back on the spectacle, allowing his thoughts to drift once again to a distant world.

 

 

He was beautiful. Alex’s slender frame belied the strong, toned body that had been hidden beneath his clothes. Loki moaned as a warm mouth covered his already hard cock, the tongue licking slowly at the pre-cum that leaked from the tip. Gentle hands stroked his balls and massaged the base of his shaft. Gods, had it been so long. He worked his hands through the dark curls of the man kneeling before him, releasing a sweet scent. Fighting a desire to thrust into that welcoming mouth, he let the young man take the lead. A long tongue danced over the nerves on the underside of his cock and he could feel himself building to his release. An appreciative humming vibrated down the shaft and Loki groaned loudly as the waves of pleasure overtook him and he spilled his seed down the soft throat.

Blue eyes raised to his as a tongue delicately licked the last traces of semen from the still pulsing member. Loki pulled him to his feet and crushed his mouth against the moist lips, tasting the saltiness of his own seed. Lifting the man effortlessly, Loki carried him to the bed, laying him gently in the centre before stretching out beside him. He ran his hands over the muscled torso, taking his time to memorise every ridge and freckle. Tracing his hands back up to that long neck, Loki leaned over to lick his way from the collarbone to the base of his jaw. The young man groaned, thrusting his hips into the air. Loki grinned at the reaction. Steady lad. Plenty of time for that. He tilted Alex’s chin towards him and saw that his eyes were closed.

“Look at me,” he whispered firmly.

Eyes filled with desire bored into his. Loki leaned in to touch his tongue to a trembling bottom lip, working his way lazily around the mouth before plunging inside and ravaging that wicked tongue. The kiss left them both panting. He slipped his hand down to the man’s thigh, tracing slow and ever-increasing circles, being careful not to touch where it was most desired. Licking his way down to an erect nipple, Loki took it between his teeth and nipped it hard, drawing a moan from that beautiful mouth. He soothed the bud with his tongue before moving over the tense body to give its twin a similar treatment, all the while continuing his soft caress of the thigh. Slowly, he ran his tongue down to the navel, dipping his tongue into that sensitive hollow. Another thrust. Glancing down, Loki watched as a drop of pre-cum slid over the engorged tip and dripped on to the smooth stomach. Loki touched a finger to the liquid, raising it to his lips and moaning at the unique flavour of this man. Reaching down he gave his own straining cock a quick stroke.

Steady _yourself_ , Loki.

Trying to pace himself, he licked his way steadily down the path formed by the lightly scattered hairs extending from the navel, stopping only when he felt the fully erect shaft twitch against his cheek. Loki repositioned himself between the sturdy thighs, licking his lips at the sight of the heavy, veined member. Leaning in, he ran his tongue from the base to the tip. Flattening his tongue, he pulled the member into his mouth until it hit the back of his throat, then sucking and licking he drew it out to the tip, running his tongue over the soft head before pulling it back into his mouth. He ran his hand over the tightening balls, enjoying the feel of the soft, wrinkled surface. He moved his hand lower, tracing along the ridge to the puckered hole, drawing a deep groan from further up the bed. Releasing the cock from his mouth, he leaned over to open a side drawer. A quick search revealed what he had hoped to find. Unscrewing the lid, he poured a liberal amount of the liquid into his hand. He rubbed it up the length of his cock, enjoying the sensation. Gods how he wanted to thrust into that tight hole. More liquid and he ran his finger lightly around the surface before easing a finger inside. He gently worked the resistant muscle, stretching it enough to slide in a second finger and then a third.

“Please. Soon.”

The strain in the voice was enough. Loki withdrew his fingers and pulled the lean body to the end of the bed, lifting one long leg over his shoulder. Pouring more lube into his hand, Loki gave his cock a few strokes before dripping the rest of the liquid on to that inviting hole. He teased the entrance with the tip of his shaft, slipping the head in a little way before pulling out slowly. With each movement, he eased himself in further. So tight. Gods, he wouldn’t last long. Each movement brought him closer to the edge. Wrapping his hand around Alex’s unrestrained member, he matched each thrust stroke for stroke, pausing only to slide his hand down to massage the tight sack before resuming the movement along the shaft.

“Oh God.”

Warm white threads of cum erupted over the fair skin. The look of ecstasy on that beautiful face was all Loki needed and with a few more quick thrusts, he spilled into the body beneath him, his own body shuddering at the intensity of his release.

 

 

A pounding on the door brought his mind back to the present.

“Loki, will you not be attending the feast?”

Volstagg. Curse him and his boundless ebullience.

“Come Loki. There is much fine wine and even finer women on offer for the heroes returned triumphant.”

Hogan too. Loki cursed the pair of them.

Throwing a robe about his still damp body, Loki slowly opened the door, pretending to stifle a yawn. “I am a little weary, my friends. You may have my share.”

“Nonsense,” blustered Volstagg. “Since when have you not taken advantage of a willing maiden.”

“Who says he has not,” a feminine voice sounded from behind Loki.

Volstagg let out a loud bellow. “Well, you wasted no time, did you! Sly scoundrel. I hope there is more than one naked body in that bed of yours. Such valiant feats are deserving of numerous delights.”

“You may be sure that I am well catered for. Now, if you will excuse me, you have interrupted a private celebration to which I am keen to return.”

Volstagg elbowed Hogun in the ribs, sending the smaller warrior flying. “Let us be off then and leave the young lord to satisfy his appetites.”

The two warriors staggered off down the hall.

Loki closed his door and turned to the empty chamber. _Thank you mother for teaching me that trick, though I doubt this was the intended purpose_. He leaned back against the door and rubbed his aching shoulder.

 

 

A finger traced softly over the scars on Loki’s back.

“These are new.”

Loki heard the question in his voice. “My life is not like yours. There are some things I cannot tell you. Do not ask me.”

“I hate to think of you being hurt,” Alex said softly. “Don’t ask me not to care.”

Loki rolled over to face him. He lifted his hand to the familiar face and soothed the creases between eyes that shone with unshed tears. “I would never ask that of you, my love. It is because I care for you that I will not let you bear the burden of my trials and sorrows. I am content when I am with you. Let that be enough.”

“I will try. I just wish . . . it's hard knowing that I am a part of just one of the many stories that make up your life.”

“This story is more important than you can ever know," said Loki, pulling the lithe body against his and stroking the dark curls. "It is for the best that you are not a part of the others." He stared grimly into the distance. "Not all tales have happy endings.”

 

 

Loki dressed carefully. He checked that all traces of blood had been removed from his hair and hands. The bruises were healing quickly. He did not wish to cause alarm after such a long absence.

Slipping silently into the hall, he made his way through the corridors and past groups of revellers. To any whose eyes fell on him, he appeared as an elderly servant, someone to be quickly dismissed from their mind.

He paused at the door to the great hall. At the head of the banquet table, his father was engaged in exuberant discourse with a member of the court. His mother observed the festivities with a watchful eye. Her gaze fell on him briefly—a moment of hesitation, before she continued her calm scan of the rowdy vista before her. He moved on, keeping to the crowded streets where he could blend in with the jovial inhabitants of the city. At the entrance to a gated garden, he paused, waving his hand discreetly at his side. An explosion of colour filled the sky drawing the eyes of the crowds to the heavens. Unobserved, Loki slipped through the barrier, locking it behind him.

 

 

“The tree by your window has grown so tall,” he exclaimed, admiring the high, broad branches.

“Yes, I can almost reach the flowers from my bedroom window now when they bloom in the spring.”

“It is a fast-growing variety?” Loki queried, an uneasiness growing in his stomach as he noted other changes around him.

“Not exactly.”

A glass of wine was placed in his hand and long arms wrapped about his waist. He turned to place a kiss to the offered lips.

“I have missed you,” he sighed against the soft cheek.

“I missed you too. It has been a long time.”

Loki noted the fine lines at the corners of the blue eyes. He had many enemies, but only one he knew he could never defeat.

 

 

“Where are you sneaking off to, little brother,” a voice boomed from his right.

Loki shut his eyes and thrust out his jaw in annoyance. Taking a deep breath, he forced an expression of feigned innocence as he turned to face Thor.

“Why, I have a desire for gentler company and a less odorous body than yours, my dear brother,” he quipped. “And do you wander here to enjoy the scent of the blossoms?”

Thor’s bellowing laugh echoed in the surrounding silence. “I was merely engaging in a little deflowering amidst the shrubbery, as is my due. Come brother. We are victorious! Let us celebrate together. Perhaps you and I could share the gentler company you seek.”

Loki quelled a desire to lash out.

“If I recall correctly, you broke the last companion we shared. I also remember the pleasure being more than a little one-sided,” he said with a forced grin.

Thor threw his head back and laughed. “Oh Loki. Do not pretend that you did not enjoy that game. In fact, I am quite sure you instigated it.”

Loki nodded sadly. “Why, yes I did. Though I had expected a slightly different outcome.”

“Argh,” spat Thor. “Such fragile flowers are not for us. We require strong bodies with full breasts and large hips to hold on to as we thrust into their quims.”

Loki internally recoiled at the image. Never had he experienced a stronger desire to escape his brother and his less than gentle lechery. Searching for a distraction, he recalled a conversation on the return journey from battle and allowed a malicious grin to curl the corners of his mouth. “Did I not overhear Volstagg boasting of two particularly delicious morsels he had waiting in his bed? I wonder that he did not offer to include you in his pleasures. It seems rather selfish to me!” he offered with mock outrage.

Thor thrust his hands on to Loki’s shoulders. “Why, I do believe you are right, little brother. Old Volstagg is surely incapable of satisfying both wenches. Indeed, he will probably fall asleep before his cock even leaves his breeches.”

“It seems a terrible shame that they will be left disappointed and panting for release, Thor. I suggest you head directly to his chamber before their ardour cools and they steal away—probably with a pocketful of the fool’s gold,” encouraged Loki, trying not to laugh. It was too easy.

Thor slapped his hand against his thigh. “Yes. Yes, I cannot let them go to waste. I hope they are up for a pounding as I have a great need tonight. Thank you, brother. Will you not join me?”

Loki held up his hands in mock defeat. “I fear I would be unable to keep up with you this eve. My body aches and my desires are for less vigorous pursuits.”

“Very well. Another night we will take pleasure together.” Thor rearranged the bulge in his trousers. “After all, my body is stronger than yours and my needs greater.” Slapping Loki on the shoulder his voice softened. “Farewell, brother. Drink. Rest. You will have need of your strength. More battles are coming.”

Loki watched him stride away. It seemed that one war flowed into another these days as the fight for peace amongst the Nine Realms raged on. So many battles. So much death. They owed him this—this one brief blink of an immortal eye. Slipping from the palace, he made his way to a path known only to him.

 

 

The buildings were different. An old friend gone here, a shiny new structure there. He had lost his way more than once and was relieved to spot the familiar terraces of the neighbourhood he sought. The sharp aroma of coffee filled the air as the cold wind whipped past the shops and homes, dragging the scent of the city in its wake. Loki shut his eyes and savoured the memories stirred by the smell.

Turning a corner he paused, a wave of emotion flooding through him. Footsteps echoed off the high walls, each step matching the beating of his heart. A familiar figure walked slowly down the narrow lane. The breeze lifted again, tugging at the shop banners and sending yellowing leaves dancing along the pavement. Loki did not feel the discomfort of the late autumn chill that caused the man to pull his jacket tightly about his chest. He stood silent, unmoving, taking in the strands of grey that flecked the dark hair, the slight stiffness of the gait. The man came to a halt in front of him. Curious eyes moved over Loki’s youthful features, pausing at a recent scar along his jawline before returning to stare knowingly into the ancient green eyes of the god.

“I missed you.”

“And I you, my love.”

Two dimples formed in the finely lined cheeks, deep creases fanning out from sparkling blue eyes.

“Do you have time for a coffee?”

Loki smiled softly back.

“All the time in the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> It is difficult to know how best to differentiate the memories from the present. I hope I have succeeded and not made it too hard to follow.
> 
> The story was inspired by the fan art I have finally figured out how to include here and which I originally posted on my tumblr blog http://bundyvimes.tumblr.com/post/155466051174/created-on-my-ipad-mini-using-ps-express-over


End file.
